Hello Sports Fans

I haven't posted a rant in quite some time, and I guess its because of some deeply personal changes in my life over the past year. But, have no fear, rumors of my demise are false. I will be adding much more to the site soon.

First, a few changes....seems im better at work than relationships. Work is going great. relationships, well.....work is going Great!

I lost my dad to cancer last October, and it hasnt quit hurting at all yet. He was Superman to me, and for disease to strike him down so hard and fast like it did, it gave me a true glimpse of my own mortality. Hello, wake up call. As for what I can do with the rest of my life that will actually be meaningful to anyone once im gone, I guess that remains to be seen. I guess we all just want to be remembered in a good light.

Jeni and I were able to spend some quality time together this summer, even under some trying conditions. The picture is taken at one of the overlooks on the New River Gorge Bridge in West Virginia. One of our stops on a long weekend. We explored my famlies past and visited her potential future on that trip and im sure we will both remember it forever.

I would like to loose 50 pounds, and i'd like to do it without changing my diet, or increasing excercise regimes or sacrificing what just seems like everything good. So, anyone with the dont do anything different and loose 50 pound diet, please send it to me!

OK, Thats enough for tonight, you all have a great week.

A Time for farewell

Dear Dad,

Its been 5 months now and I still await your voice in the night for some crazy reason. I speak to you at the oddest of times, still thinking you can hear me through the night rain or morning sun. I haven't deleted your telephone number from my cell list either, and I really have no plan to. I cant believe that the rock in my life really is gone and yet all too well I know its really true.

What is odd for me, I know you were there when my son died, and when my world has been at its darkest points, you were willing to judge yet love unconditionally, something so few ever can learn to do. I learned so much, even though you never set out to be a teacher. Instead, you just lived your life, as yourself, always seemingly confident in who you were, and you really didn't care how others thought of you. They could be your friend, or not. your door never closed to someone in need, even though many discounted your faithfulness.

I guess by now you know what is next, and oh how I wish you could tell me, but i guess that its against the rules. I still hope that your rebel spirit will see fit to break the rules, just like old times. I still wonder if you felt the pain, and hope you didn't. I wonder about the fires, the last minutes, the false friends who forced their decisions, and how that played a part in your final days. I wonder why you chose to be alone, or if you really were. I look in on Robbie more often now, I don't know why, I just do. I am trying to learn more about the past now also, even though I don't know who to share it with.

I'm sure many who deal with death have the same questions, the same unknowns, the same challenges to keep going, I'm not the only soul who seeks answers and does not take blind faith as a solution to life's unknowns. And I guess I will be the same way about deaths unknowns also. I have my own beliefs, and theories, and I hear others too, yet there seems to be such a big piece missing.

I miss you, I wish I could still call just to see whats going on, and I miss seeing that big red truck delivering you for a visit from the road. I hope you have found the freedom again that you had in your journeys on the road here. I hope you have wings to let your spirit soar and see everything you ever wanted to see. I hope your next life brings everything you ever can imagine. And , last of all, I hope you find Love again, in every moment.

Safe Journeys Dad

The Sky Is Falling

Hello sports fans,

Long time, no post. Well, alot has been going on and so rather than a recourse, Ill just start again.

Last Night (March 29th) at about 9:45 pm, a loud booming sound was heard over a rather large portion of the eastern seaboard, some accounts say a light or streaking light preceeded the loud noises. So......Henny Penny may have just been right all along, because no one else has a clue as to what the heck happened (or is willing to divulge, for the conspiracy theorists among us).

all the local television stations, the majority of radio and even syndicated news and UFO sights are validating the reports, yet not one photo, sound byte, video clip or government explanation. The Weather service has disproved any weather related phenomeon, the Navy and Air Force report no unusual activiry, and weather radars had no tracking of any event at the time, yet thousands of reports to 911, news outlets and the national weather service have netted not a clue.


Interestingly odd, this area bosts some of the most recognizable tracking systems the world knows of (Langley is down the friggin street.....) , No less than 7 military bases, Three International Airports, National Weather and NOAA National Headquarters, The CIA>>>>all within a 100 mile radius, but these bureaus remain silent as they let the media speculate.

The most common theory is that of the local weather personalities of a meteor. Top Story Indeed. Details at 11 (or not).

Stumped? I dare say "The sky IS falling".

Baseball and Fireworks

Does Fame equal ethics?

Hello Sports fans! It’s been a long week and now were back to rant about baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and, well, more baseball. It is 4th of July week after all.

The National Baseball Hall of Fame , famous, historical, and incomplete.
The Hall Of Fame. By definition what is it? I think wikipedia has a pretty good grasp with the following “is a museum operated by private interests serving as the central point for the study of the history of baseball in the United States and beyond, the display of baseball-related artifacts and exhibits, and the honoring of persons who have excelled in playing, managing, and serving the sport. The Hall's motto is "Preserving History, Honoring Excellence, Connecting Generations".

Did anyone read anything about ethics in that? Ok, so here’s the issue. Joe Jackson, Pete Rose, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and eventually Barry Bonds should be there and they’re not. It’s really quite simple; they epitomize the most famous players to have played the game in our lifetime. To not include the history (and yes that means the good and the bad history) of these prolific players and their contributions to the sport lessens it. Is there not a war in our history books? Is there no record of hate crimes or racial segregation in museums? Get real America! The good players who have made mistakes along the way have taught us to adapt the rules when necessary and that managing is all about change. They do not in any way defame the sport or the entertainment industry.

I do not personally care for the class shown or not shown by a few of the aforementioned talents, but they are talents none the less, each with at least a significant milestone of importance to the history of the game, and most of them carry several records and milestones. Baseball would be much worse for wear without the accomplishments of Pete, Joe, Mark, Sammy, and Barry and those accomplishments are due to be included in the hallmark. OK, maybe they should not be allowed to participate any longer because as history notes, they cheated.

Would they have been there if not for cheating? For Rose and Jackson, absolutely, there inclusion should not even be questioned at all. For McGwire and Sosa, the jury would be out, they had about a 50/50 chance of performing at the level of play without steroids, but the legalities of the drugs come into question. The substances were not banned from baseball during the time when they were being used. Andro, In fact was over the counter in any vitamin and fitness shop. It was legal and readily available to all who would pay the $14.00 per bottle. Now that steroids are banned form the game, suspensions and punishments are well defined. At the pinnacles of these others careers, they were not. This is baseballs problem, not societies. Baseball needs to ensure that its house is in order by testing, clear rules and clear punishments defined in advance, not knee jerk responses by writers and commissioners. Their contributions to the game should be the lone consideration for inclusion.

I once cheated on a test, was caught and given the grade I deserved, a zero. Was I erased from the class or the school, no? Was I given a free pass, no. Was I embarrassed, of course? Punished?, definitely. That zero is a part of who I was at the time, and I earned it. And it does not signify my life. I have no doubt that the grade book that holds its shameful letter is long gone, and not many remember the deed, but I do. I know its value in life, more now than then. Had I not got caught, I would have valued cheating, would have respected it, and most probably embraced it as acceptable behavior. I would like to thank the teacher who had the foresight to give me the zero, not let me retake the test and have to live with the grade, and yet at the same time, the teacher who did not recommend suspension or expulsion from the class or the school. I passed the class, and the school, had to work much harder to do so, and went on with life. Punished, yet not condemned. I think it was quite fair, even at the time.

Why, oh why, can’t the powers that be (baseball writers of America) get off their high horses and stop looking down upon ball players as superhero’s, yet figures of an entertainment industry. These men are not up for seats on the Supreme Court, yet they do sit atop some of the highest records in baseball history.


If the crime fits the punishment, then so be it, but in these cases, there is such a clear case of overkill that is just repugnant to the core. Is it the job of the baseball writers to bring ethics to the game, absolutely not? Is it the task of the baseball writers to condemn players for mistakes, again, absolutely not? Is the commissioner of baseball so powerful an entity as to leave two of the games most noteworthy players out of the inclusion in the history of the game; no way. Wake up commish, make a punishment that allows the game to have integrity, yet embraces its fame and famous. Include its warts, bruises, bumps and blemishes as part of an evolutionary, continuing sport.

The Power of friendship

If love is the cure for all, than friendship is the blood within loves soul.

There never have been more stirring or truer quotes ever written or repeated than those about the power of friendship. It is seemingly overshadowed by love in its very relaxed and unassuming nature. I mean really; have you ever had a date say, “let’s JUST be lovers”? Absolutely not; but friendship gets dealt such a second class role in reality and relationship.

Once again in life, being addressed as the “friend” rather than the “lover” is treated like it has so much less a commitment, when it should be so very much the opposite. Don’t ask me to ever just be my friend, for I hold this honor for the “mighty of the populous”, the “crème de la crème”, the “top 1% of the class”, the “enter your favorite “best of” cliché here”.

To simply “just” be friends, means to be willing to give up your sweetheart when I need to vent, to give up your paycheck when mine comes up short, to give up your Saturday when I need your back and to give up your car upholstery when I’ve had too much to drink. Are you really prepared to “Just” do that? How about the phone call at 3am when my world goes to shit, the trip to the jail when I need bail, the trip to the hospital when I’m too sick to drive, the bed in the spare room when I need to sleep or the key to your car when mine is in the shop.? Are you still “just” here? Or do you suddenly feel the need to slip silently away in the night like the stray alley cat when the farmer breaks out the shotgun?

Doesn’t a lover get the easy button and a pass on all the detailed concise neediness that we have in our lives over the friend? Do we really bear our soul to a lover, or bear a body? Could a friend ever have it so easy? Never; not in a million years.

Fear not, friend, for if I have let you be “just” a friend, you will never find yourself in want from loneliness, or compassion, or empathy, or shelter, or support, or even pain, for I will be there. I will creed you my every second, if it is what you need. My every cent, if it will help you, and my very blood, if it restores your soul.

So take thee heed vixens and lovers, if you are lucky enough to breech my soul and gain what you seek, the so called “just” friendship; you are amongst the lucky. For few are willing to meet the task, and few deserve the honor. If I am your friend, thank you , I am eternally honored, and grateful, humbled to my core and standing at the ready as well.

A Silent Slumber

Today I will share something different. It still applies to our theme of United We Sleep, but in a much more individualized manner.

A Silent Slumber :

Today a man killed himself. He left a lengthy suicide not that explained why he felt that he could not take another breath. It was harrowing at the least.

He wrote:
“I’ve decided to leave you all behind. I have become a failure in more ways than I can tolerate any longer. I failed to make enough money to provide the basic necessities. I can no longer afford to keep your home or buy groceries. I can no longer have the confidence that made you love me as a husband, or trust me as a father, or confide in me as a friend.

I cannot begin to explain how many times trying has met a brick wall. So many nights I sat sleepless, attempting to manifest the courage to keep going. I cried myself to sleep, silently as not to disturb you. I woke the next day, more embarrassed that the night did not claim me, only to leave me in peril another day. You see, happiness has not been my friend for many years, and lately, hardship piled on misery is just unbearable. I still hold love in my heart, and will take it with me as I move on to whatever journey awaits me. I hope you can now move on to a place and time in your lives where my failures do no longer impede your happiness and growth.

The education has been interesting, sad, blissful for moments, and tragic. There was happiness at times, and just enough so to cause me to realize what is missing. If poverty is all you know, than poverty is acceptable as a way of life. But if happiness was here, now emptiness remains…there is no acceptable way to make up for the wholeheartedness. Consumption used to be the name given to what we call cancer nowadays. It was a term meaning the body was being consumed from within, with bad overtaking good. Well, I have consumption of the soul, and body, and mind.

I cannot leave you all so openly and ask for forgiveness, so I will only ask for understanding. This is only a lesson in why, not a letter seeking redemption. I have known other people who gave up, and the question was always, why. They didn’t tell us what was wrong. How could it be so bad that “insert name here” chose to give up on life and love forever. Here is my answer. Life and love are not one in the same. You can love and have a miserable life, and you can live and not know love. But when you loose at both and see constant reminders of how failed your very being is, you learn to hate yourself. You become more and angrier at each passing day. You look for reasons to breathe, reasons to care, reasons to smile, and every day you find less and less, until there are none remaining.”

This note is Fictional. This man does not exist, but it is a testiment to all those who have passed silently while burdened with the sorrows unseen. How many cry silently while we sleep? How many hold inside the pain of such tremendous sadness and loneliness?
Rather than asking “why” when we loose someone in this tragic manner, we should look around to see if there is a person we know who seems this sad or troubled. Have we done enough to make sure those we love know it, every day? Have we made sure we are not simply leaving our feelings to be understood?
To all my friends and loved ones who follow by reading these words, make sure you don’t get a letter like this one. Please visit http://www.twloha.com/facts.php to learn about suicide prevention and how you can help.
Peace!

Here's a Stimulus Package

Over the next few weeks. Americans will be recieveing a check from the Boss. Yup, the U.S. Treasury. About $300 per person give or take a few using political math. Its supposed to be a national rebate. Spending money. A way to stimulate the weakened economy, and to try to make you feel better about the fleacing youre taking on all sides.
Ummm, who gave them the money to give back to us? Quick, anyone? It was YOU!...well you didn't do it yet, but you will, with interest.

You see, this is a loan from your taxes later to your pockets now, add in inflation, rate of recovery and overhead and you'll probably be paying back $900 for this $300 shot in the arm. What a great way to save us. Cmon guys, give us a break.

How about this. Dont send me a check. Use my share of my loan to me to rent space on an airplane for a tired, weary, overworked and underpaid American Soldier. Give that soldier a seat home, where they all should be.
Spark the economy? Well, just a guess here, but I'm willing to wager that a soldier reunited home with his family would go out and spend a few dollars. Maybe have dinner with his wife and kids, catch up on the lost birthdays of relatives, grab that new tv they were saving for while they were seperated, or take a well earned vaccation. Hows that for stimulous. Multiply it by all the American Soldiers, Sailors and Marines and Airmen in Iraq and I think you get a much needed economic boost in the same sectors that the national economists have decided need stimulating. I bet you stimulate the families of these same National Heros too! Sending Johnny home would make moms and dads happy coast to coast, ease our worried minds just a bit and give us all something we really need. A reason to stand up and cheer.